I read an article recently about how Generation X is tearing it up in the work force. We who were raised in middle class homes don’t want to see our kids grow up struggling like we did, even though it’s the very thing that made us who we are today. Stress has become a natural part of our daily lives. Generation X has become the generation of working mothers, but not just your average, everyday working mothers. We are working mothers who breastfeed, give birth naturally, cook organic homemade meals and of course, use essential oils for our family’s health. Yep, that's us! We can do it all. We can wear many hats. Or, so we think.
Many mothers get overwhelmed with the demands of work and motherhood, or the false idea that we can only be good at one or the other. I have been through more stresses than I even care to list, but through it all, I have learned that we mothers can take care of ourselves, and be Rock Stars in this age of working mamas. We have empowered ourselves in such a way that we can say, "We can love our kids and work to serve others." This is exactly how we teach our kids to go for their goals, reach their dreams and not be victims of any circumstance. If we are doing it right, we won't be a helicopter parent, stealing every opportunity from our kids to learn from their own experiences in order to save them from pain, but rather we will empower them with love and logic (my current favorite parenting course).
How do we become an incredible mom AND an incredible earner for our family?
We take care of ourselves! We have learned that the martyr mentality, “I work and am a mom too, how sad,” doesn't work for us or our kids, especially if we want to show them how to live a life of purpose, be empowered and learn how to handle the stressors that they are sure to face in life.
So here are my top 5 Steps to busting out of the stress we feel as working moms and how to be a Rock Star in the process.
Take care of yourself first. You being a complete hot mess doesn’t help anyone if your goal is to be a good mom and business woman. You need something you do each day to care for yourself in a nurturing way. Try getting a massage, or taking a walk alone or with your partner, run a hot bath with essential oils or read a book. Make a list of 5 things you can do for better self care. If you need permission, you've got it from me. Start with the small things and something that you can do every day. If you’re out of gas, you can’t really show up and be on your A game for parenting. As your kids grow, you will need your A game in tip top shape. One thing is for sure, kids will always bring theirs.
Think of your kids as your teammate. I remember my sister telling me once to treat my kids with the quality time that I treat my business partners. That means, I show up refreshed with my A game and share my gifts with them the same way I serve when I work. This was an amazing shift for me. Show up with your plan, your activity, your loving energy to pour into your kids the same way you pour into your work.
Ditch the mommy guilt. Kids are smart. They know how to pull your strings. They always seem to want more of your time. If you are giving them the quality time they need, by helping them develop their own likes and interests and by teaching them how to be self directed, the mom guilt will start to shrink until it disappears. If you buy into the manipulation that comes so naturally to children, then they will continue to do what gives them results. Try using sentences like "Mom can’t wait for our time together, aren’t we blessed to have this income? I bet with your creativity you’ll find something fun and productive to do, or veg out for a bit if you need a break." If you can schedule in a meeting with someone else, certainly you can be organized enough to schedule time with your kids without interruptions. As you start to schedule them in and pour into them, not only will the mommy guilt fade, the manipulation will too.
Give yourself grace and let go of perfectionism. Oh boy was I glad I learned this lesson early! I was under the impression that if my kids had a bad day that I must suck as a mom. Don't tell yourself you’re a bad mom, because then you will act like one! Give yourself grace and more importantly give your kids grace. We are allowed to have a bad day, why can’t they? What we don't have control over is how they are experiencing life outside of the home, at school, at church etc. We can show up as a support instead of a ‘shoulder’ or a ‘fixer.’ You can tell them that they should be happy all you want, but unless you are 100% happy at all times, don't expect your kids to not work through their emotions as well. Don't immediately try to fix it, instead ask them great questions like; How do you feel? What did you hope to learn from it? How do you plan on fixing it or, Do you plan to fix it?
Support them in their decisions, their thought process and cheer them on, trusting that they will figure it out. Offer advice with permission, but ultimately, empower them. I remember my son telling me he felt all out of shape (he’s an 11 year old star athlete) after eating nothing but sugar all week over spring break at his dad's. He said he watched TV and ate junk food the whole time and now he felt like a ‘loser’. I had to contain my laughter as I thought about all the times I ate sugar and watched Netflix or vegged out. I told him my experience with vegging out and talked to him about the concept of grace. It so important to have grace for yourself because your best on one day isn’t necessarily going to be your best on another. The stars don't all have to align for you to have a fantastic day and you’re allowed to not always be an energetic star athlete every day of your life.
Everyone needs down time, relaxation. I am glad I am teaching my son now that it's okay to not be perfect. What isn’t okay is to not love yourself unconditionally every day. Whether you've made good choices that day or bad choices, you are always loved unconditionally by me, your dad and yourself. That's all that really matters.
Don't be fooled by the lie of perfectionism
Afterwards, we went on a bike ride and rented a fun movie and vegged out together. We also made an after school tentative work out plan together to get back in shape for football. Don't be perfect just love yourself and receive love. Give yourself grace.
Use essential oils. This is my single biggest tool at combatting stress. I work hard and parent hard, but I can tell you my self care is up there! I use essential oils daily, in my bath, on my skin, diffused, for emotional support, immune system support, and to sleep better.
Here is one of my favorites doTERRA essential oils for mothers and it's only $16 wholesale. I use this as a body spray, cleaner and diffused to uplift and warm my home.
Pamper yourself with these incredible essential oils, Citrus Bliss is sure to elicit feelings of love, nurturing of self and unlocks your joy and creativity. With multiple citrus oils
“Citrus Bliss Invigorating Blend merges the benefits of citrus essential oils. We combine the powerful essences of Wild Orange, Lemon, Grapefruit, Mandarin, Bergamot, Tangerine, and Clementine with a hint of Vanilla Absolute to form this unique and harmonious blend. Citrus Bliss has natural, potent compounds with cleansing properties. Mixed with water, Citrus Bliss is a perfect solution for wiping down countertops and other surfaces while producing a fresh, sweet scent.”
Citrus Bliss Uses
Diffuse to help lift mood.
- Put 1 drop on your wrist and rub both wrists together for a great everyday perfume.
- Add 2–3 drops to dryer sheets to add a refreshing aroma to your laundry.
- Add to a carrier oil for a cheerful hand massage.
Directions for Use
Diffusion: Use three to four drops in the diffuser of your choice.
Topical use: Apply one to two drops to desired area. Dilute with doTERRA Fractionated Coconut Oil to minimize any skin sensitivity.
Possible skin sensitivity. Keep out of reach of children. If you are pregnant, nursing, or under a doctor’s care, consult your physician. Avoid contact with eyes, inner ears, and sensitive areas. Avoid sunlight or UV rays for up to 12 hours after applying product.
Cleanses and purifies the air
Helps reduce stress and uplifts mood
Positively affects mood with energizing and refreshing properties
Wild Orange Peel, Lemon Peel, Grapefruit Peel, Mandarin Peel, Bergamot Peel, Tangerine Peel, Clementine Peel essential oils and Vanilla Bean Absolute.
If you’d like to download a FREE Mother's Day Gift Guide to help you get your favorite mama the gift of oils, you can get her HERE.
If you are ready to make a change in your life and experience more balance, wellness and empowerment using certified pure essential oils then let’s chat.
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